Blame

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Apr 7, 1910

It is so sore a thing we feel like touching it lightly, and yet how often and unthinkingly it is thrown at one and another in the family circle. But handling never callouses it; it only keeps all its surfaces raw.

So do not blame the child if he has broken some precious thing. If he is to blame, that knowledge, with the shock of the affair, is all he should be called upon to endure. Do not blame your wife. Can you not feel her cringe? Do not blame your husband. The results are most unsatisfactory. Do not blame your neighbor, and say she would never do so by her own child. Perhaps she wouldn’t need to. Withholding blame which is merited will work no disaster, and a word of undeserved praise sometimes sets people thinking.

Among the different children we have had in our home, there was one who gave us a great deal of anxiety, because we seemed powerless to work the improvement necessary. She was a problem difficult to solve, and many times tried our patience past the limit, until we became quite as discouraged with ourselves as with her.

On her return home, we expected nothing but blame. We all know what parents are, and they would have heard only her account. Imagine our feelings when they afterward came to us with tears in their eyes, declaring they could never repay us for all we had done, and when the child herself, now older grown, sends us warm, appreciative letters.

It hasn’t done us one bit of harm, but on the contrary has touched a spring of gratitude in our hearts, and given us a new glimpse of the divine forbearance.

Beloved, “if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.” He appreciates the resistance, even if it gives way at last before temptation, and says, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” Can we not learn the lesson?