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ITEMS OF EXPERIENCE

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Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Tuesday, December 2, 1884

FromThe Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, Vol. 61, No. 48

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ITEMS OF EXPERIENCE.

By Dudley Marvin Canright

I have had a great desire to come back here and labor; but the General Conference has thought best that I should labor in other States for a time. If I do that, I shall not therefore be here very much; and I feel it a great disappointment. Of course, the brethren here know more or less of my relation to the cause during the past twenty-five years. Having been a preacher among our people, most of our brethren know me in some way, in almost every State in the Union, from Maine to California.
It seems to me, dear brethren, that my whole soul is now bound up in this present truth. I have told my brethren that if the world were before me, the truth is so clear that I know I could make them see it. I have also said that I do not believe any man takes as much pleasure in worldly pursuits as I do in this. I have tried to analyze my feelings, and I have reached some conclusions. Sometimes an individual gets started on a wrong train of reasoning, and he sees it when he is far away. Then he finds it hard to get back again. This was my case, exactly. I did not see as the brethren did, and so I concluded I would leave the work for the time being. So I went to farming. I have tried to keep my trials to myself; that I think you all know. I have not seen a day when I did not love my brethren. The most painful thing I had to think of was that my course had been a stone of stumbling to others, and that I had perhaps caused some one to be lost. I have great charity for brethren who are in trouble. I myself wanted to know what was right; and they may say, Why did you not do right? I am satisfied that man's wisdom is not always reliable. He must have the Spirit of God to guide him, or he will go wrong.
Now I want to say that I have been changed right around in my feelings and convictions. I do not say I am fully satisfied in everything; but I believe the truth as I used to believe it. I think a man's experience in his own heart is a good deal; it is worth something, at least. At our Jackson camp-meeting Bro. Butler helped me. He kept praying all the time that I might be willing to give up everything to God. I thought I had done that; but I found, brethren, that I had not,—that if the Lord should make it plain to me that it was my duty to leave my family, I did not feel that I could do it. I did not love the people as I used to; that was another thing. There was a time when I would have gone through rain and mud,—anywhere, to save the people; but I had lost that out of my heart. This love for souls had gone from me,—I saw that very plainly. When I came to the point where I was willing to give up everything, then that good feeling came back to me again. I had felt that I would give anything if it would come back; and now I feel that I have hold of the right thing to lead me, that to stand right before God is to give up all. The way grows brighter and brighter every day.
I have observed this, brethren: that you may get up any question in the world that a man can get up, and you can make out two sides to it. To illustrate this, and show how easy it is for the mind to be wrong: Some of the brethren thought it would be a good idea to debate the question of the non-resurrection of the dead, and they did so. They chose sides, some of them right against their own convictions; but of course they tried to uphold their own side, and they studied hard to make their points, until after a time, notwithstanding the fact that they had said, “We don't believe it,” they found themselves really holding it as a truth, which was afterward a great injury to them. A man's mind is a wonderful thing; and he must be humble, and walk carefully with God, or he will fall. Some say, “If God is almighty, why does he not make everything so plain that a man cannot doubt?” That is the way many of us feel,—why does not God make it plainer? One thing is very certain, brethren,—you know it, and so do I,—that God has given to every man light enough, if he would receive it, to save him. If only faithful to what light is given, he will go through. Take the case of Moses. I think there is mighty force in that. God used him as a leader, and sent him back from Midian into Egypt. The people had enough evidence that God had sent him. There were the ten plagues; there was the opening of the sea,—every man, woman, and child had seen these things. There was the cloud by day, and the pillar of fire by night, which they saw every day and every night. There was the water bursting out of the flinty rock; and yet for all this they were tempted, and said, “Is God among us? Come, let us make us gods to lead us back into Egypt.” Do you not suppose these people were honest in their convictions? It seems to me I can see them in little knots, saying one to another, How can you understand this? and how can you understand that? How do you explain this? and how do you explain that? Now I believe they felt that very way. They would say, “Here we have been in this place twenty-five, thirty, forty years, and we have not seen what we thought we should. If we had known that we were going to remain in this place so long, we would not have left our homes in Egypt.” But God was in it, was he not?
I remember the case of Korah and his company. They thought they were right. They did not believe that they were all wrong and Moses was all right; but when God spoke they all went down, and Moses remained. But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, “Ye have killed the people of the Lord.” Their delusion seemed to be complete. They rose up against the Lord, and fourteen thousand and seven hundred perished in the plague which the Lord brought upon them, besides those the earth swallowed up. I believe that, like these men, a person may come to be in such a condition of mind that he thinks he is right and everybody else is wrong.
Take the case of Elijah after God had been with him on Mount Carmel. He ran away into the wilderness, lay down, and said to the Lord, “Let me die.” Discouraged, his mind had undergone a change. But the Lord did not forsake his servant when he was going where he did not send him. “And, behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah? And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.” But this was not so; for the Lord showed him his mistake. The Lord said, “I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.”
There was John the Baptist, the forerunner of Christ. He knew the Lord had been with him; he saw the Son of God, and baptized him; he saw the Holy Spirit resting upon him in the form of a dove. John is cast into prison, and now he queries whether this is really the Christ. If he is, why am I left here in this place? You remember the case of the Saviour himself. He worked a wonderful miracle,—that of feeding a multitude of people. They were going to take him right up by force and make him a king. They thought that was the way, but they were disappointed. Yet he was Christ, and his work was of heaven.
And now, here we have a meeting, and all the people say, “I know this is the work of God;” yet it will be but a little time, as Sr. White said in her discourse, when men will turn right against you and this work. Many of Christ's disciples turned away and walked no more with him. I do not believe these people were without feeling in the matter. When he healed the young man who was blind, they were ready to say, This must be the Christ; but when they began to reason out their doubts, there was room enough for doubting. They had known him from childhood; they knew him when he was a little boy; they had seen him at work in the field, or walking by the brook; they had seen him carrying his father's tools; they knew his father and mother, his brothers and sisters; he had walked among them as an ordinary man; and now he stands up all at once, and proclaims himself the only Son of the living God in heaven.
I have had a talk with Bro. Butler about some things that it did not seem to me I could believe; but my mind has wonderfully changed, and I know how to sympathize with those people when Jesus said to them, “Except ye believe upon me, and eat of my flesh and drink of my blood, ye can never enter into the kingdom of heaven.” There were a good many such questions that stood in their way; but the cause of God went forward just the same, right past all these doubters. God gives evidence enough, if men will only take it. Christ showed that they rejected him, because they were not baptized of John. I think I can make you see it. They heard John preach, and saw that he was more than an ordinary person; but how did they know his mission was of heaven? They said to John, “Work a miracle, if you are sent from God.” John did not work a miracle. Now let us see how it will be when they come up to the Judgment. The Pharisees will be there upon the left hand. They will say, “We have been honest,”—but stop! There will rise up on the right hand some poor brother or sister who never had any learning, and say, “I was there, and heard what was said at that time; it was clear enough for me.” Don't you think that will be convincing? Some will say, “If it had only been clear enough!” I think we ought to be careful not to ask God to give us more evidence than is necessary. Brethren, be very careful; faith grows by exercise.
I believe it makes a difference whether we go after men with an argument, or with the Spirit of Christ. I remember a little incident related of Mr. Moody. A man came to him, and wanted to argue with him. But Mr. Moody said to him, Let us get down and pray. They did so, and that man gave his heart to God. I tell you, my dear friends, the truth will go to the heart when the Spirit of God works.
There is a point that has bothered me a little, and I want to speak of it. In the twenty-five years I have been with our people, I have traveled from Maine to California, and I have never known one man who has drawn back and begun to tell doubts who did not begin to separate from God. I have never known one who through such a course has become more spiritual or more anxious to do something to save his fellow-men. I have never known one man to do that, and I do not believe I ever shall. When I left off preaching, I vowed to myself and to my God, that I would go right along laboring as I had done, be faithful in the church, and do my duty every time. Well, brethren, after I had gone that way for a time, I found that I had lost my hold upon God. I lost my spirituality. Now there must be something wrong about such a course; for if it is right it seems to me that a man would certainly prosper in that way.
Now about our cause for a few moments. I have said to our brethren that our cause was going down. I really came to believe in my heart that this work was growing smaller. I went to the last Conference, and I saw that instead of decreasing, everything was growing stronger and stronger. I saw some of our young preachers there who used to think they could not preach when I was present; and now I find them head and shoulders above me. I said that our churches were getting proud and formal like the other churches around us, and that in eight or ten years more, they would be stiff and cold. Now I am thankful that it is not so. Our leading brethren were never more simple and humble than they are to-day. I never heard better sermons; they came so near to my heart. I said, I will go home, and when my brethren say to me, What are you going to do with this or that? I will say to them, What are you going to do with these things I have mentioned? I have always believed with the rest of the brethren that the time would come when the work of God would go as it did in the old apostolic days, and I say that I never saw anything that looked one-hundredth part as much like it as I have seen in this last General Conference. I believe the Spirit of God is moving upon the hearts of our people in this very way. I have had a good long time to observe the workings of our cause. I have been in close attendance at the Conference from half-past five in the morning until night, and every moment was filled full. I must confess that I was dumbfounded to see by the reports that came in that the work was growing larger and larger every day.
I want right here to make a confession. Two years ago Bro. Gage was here at our ministers' meeting; and at that time I expressed myself to him that I had not very much confidence in the missionary work. I verily thought that we ought to go out and preach the gospel, and let the missionary work go. Now I see that if they had carried out my views, the cause of God would have suffered by it. I can say that now I love this present truth in all its parts. I want to come right where I will believe the testimonies with all my heart. If this message is the truth and all right,—as I believe in my soul it is,—I will do anything, I will suffer anything, for it; and this brings joy to my heart to-day.
There are one or two thoughts more; I want to be very careful how I state them. My dear brethren, if I get the right idea of the work of God, he has a message of truth in the world. He has to use mortal creatures to carry on that work; these men will make mistakes. Peter did this. I have sometimes forgotten these facts. When Bro. Butler, White, Andrews, Haskell, or others have said something that wounded my feelings, I have let that destroy my confidence in the truth. I know I have had a mind to do God's will. I have gone to the place of worship, and have felt that I was willing to do anything if I could only save some one to the truth. I have spoken at times harshly; and some have gone away offended, and I am afraid they will be lost. But be that as it may, it is God's truth just the same; and I see this, that if I had to have allowance made for me, I must make allowance for others. All may speak too sharply and too quickly. Now I have made a vow before God, that if my brethren do anything to make me feel hurt, I will let it pass. I will leave it with God; he will make it all right sometime. This is not Bro. Butler's work nor Bro. Haskell's work; it is God's work. I have felt profoundly sensible of this fact, that my labors have not been personal enough. I failed to come right to the brethren and labor personally with them, to take them away alone and talk with them and pray with them,—it almost kills me. I have not talked with the brethren personally; but I have made up my mind I will change in this particular. I feel that I will take them by the hand, and talk with them. Brethren, I will say this: So far as I am concerned, I will start right here; and all that I have, all that I am, I will put into this work, and take my risk of everything. I will never do this backing up any more; and I believe that if I ever go back from this I am lost. All I have I will give to this cause. I believe there is in this truth that which will save men. I have seen drunkards saved by it, and the wickedest of men saved by it; and may God help us to triumph with it when Jesus comes.
D. M. CANRIGHT.