Biblical Guidance on Marriage, Courtship, and Prophetic Warnings

While the marriage covenant itself is holy and ordained by God, the use of a golden ring as a sign of that union is a custom rooted in pagan antiquity rather than divine command Genesis 2:24PTUK October 10, 1895, page 642.18+1. It is far better to testify to the sacredness of marriage through a Christlike character and a holy life than through a circlet of gold7LtMs, Lt 2b, 1892, par. 15+1.

The True Significance of Marriage

Marriage is a sacred institution established in Eden and sanctioned by Christ's presence at the wedding in Cana John 2:1-11BEcho August 28, 1899, par. 5+1. It is intended to be a symbol of the family in heaven, where human love is refined and purified by divine loveCCh 125.4+1.

• The Lord desires to see happy marriages and firesides where the husband and wife counsel together in the fear of GodCCh 125.4+1.

• Marriage should be entered into with great care, ensuring both partners are united in faith and can help each other heavenwardTSB 17.4+2.

• If we truly honor our marriage vows, we do not need an external sign to prove our faithfulness7LtMs, Lt 2b, 1892, par. 15+1.

Jewelry and the Spirit of Humility

Throughout Scripture, jewelry and outward ornaments are frequently associated with pride, self-exaltation, and the fall of the people of God Isaiah 3:16-24BDOC 1.38. In contrast, true beauty is found in a meek and quiet spirit 1 Peter 3:3-4BDOC 1.38.

• The daughters of Zion were reproved for their haughty spirit and their reliance on tinkling ornaments, bracelets, and rings Isaiah 3:18-21BDOC 1.38+1.

• Followers of Christ are called to a high standard of modesty and should not decorate their bodies with gold, pearls, or costly array 1 Timothy 2:9-10LS88 146.1+1.

• In the current antitypical Day of Atonement, the focus of the believer should be on humbling the soul and putting away everything that leads to vanityBDOC 1.38+1.

Practical Counsel on the Wedding Ring

While some countries view the wedding ring as an imperative custom, it is not a requirement for those seeking to follow the highest principles of faith7LtMs, Lt 2b, 1892, par. 15+1.

• Not one penny should be spent on a circlet of gold to testify to a marriage when that money could be used for the cause of God7LtMs, Lt 2b, 1892, par. 15+1.

• The "golden link" that truly binds souls is a pure and holy character, which provides a secure influence in any societyTM 180.2.

• If a person can wear a ring conscientiously in cultures where it is mandatory, they should not be condemned; however, missionaries and believers should understand that it does not increase their influence or manifest their Christianity7LtMs, Lt 2b, 1892, par. 15+1.

• The history of the ring in the church is linked to the "wedding" of church and state, which led to a departure from the purity of the faithARSH December 3, 1857, page 27.3.

Ultimately, your life and works should be the evidence of your devotion to your spouse and to God Matthew 5:167LtMs, Lt 2b, 1892, par. 15+1. Blessed are those who are ready for the marriage supper of the Lamb, clothed in the white robe of Christ's righteousness Revelation 19:9PH154 28.2+1.

Entering into courtship and marriage requires careful deliberation, the counsel of God, and a focus on spiritual growth rather than selfish impulseBDOC 6.53+2. To honor God in this sacred relation, one must move with deliberate caution and ensure that the union will increase their love for Him and enlarge their sphere of usefulnessFE 104.3+1.

Foundations of a Godly Courtship 💍

Courtship should be conducted in a straightforward, business-like manner, controlled by a sense of duty rather than selfish motivesBDOC 6.53. It is essential to avoid "lovesick sentimentalism" and untimely hours that unfit the mind for daily dutiesMYP 438.2+1.

• Wait for Maturity: Young people should wait until they have a just knowledge of themselves and the world before letting the subject of marriage possess their thoughtsBDOC 6.53. Early attachments often produce a "vain forwardness" and can be a demoralizing influenceBDOC 6.53.

• Seek Counsel: It is not safe to trust your own judgment alone; seek the counsel of God and the discriminating eye of parentsBDOC 6.53+1. Anciently, it was considered a crime for children to contract marriage on their own responsibility without parental consentT06 14.2.

• Prioritize Education: Students should let this subject alone until they have completed their school life so that their progress toward a perfect character is not hindered9LtMs, Ms 113, 1894, par. 5.

• Transparency: Avoid underhand ways or "deceptive courtship" where private communications are kept up without the knowledge of parents18MR 306.2+1. Everything should be done so that holy angels can look upon and register every action in the books of heavenLYL 13.1.

Evaluating a Potential Companion ✨

Marriage is a school from which you are never to be graduated in this life, so your choice must be made with eternity in viewCCh 126.2+1.

• Religious Agreement: The most important consideration is whether both parties are agreed in religious belief and practiceRH September 25, 1888, par. 6. Marrying an unbeliever is a departure from the plain injunction of God’s Word and risks the loss of His blessingLYL 83.1+1.

• Practical Skills: A young woman of worth should be well-educated in practical duties such as cooking and houseworkAH 88.2+1. It is a mistake to unite with someone deficient in common, daily responsibilitiesMYP 437.2+1.

• Compatibility: Consider if your temperaments are adapted to each other; a refined nature should not be united with one that is not of a refined orderTSB 23.2+1. Look at family history, as two families will be brought into close connectionTSB 22.2.

• Financial Sobriety: A sane young man will not marry until he has the ability to honorably sustain a familyARSH August 4, 1863, page 76.19. Marrying in poverty without the means to support children entails misery upon the householdARSH August 4, 1863, page 76.19+1.

The Purpose and Conduct of Marriage 🙏

Marriage was established by God and should be clothed with sanctity and beautyPP 101.2+1.

• Advancing the Cause: One should stop and consider if marriage will help them labor for the advancement of the cause of truth or if it will end their usefulness in the work of GodBDOC 6.53+1.

• Preserving Individuality: In a life union, both husband and wife are to preserve their individuality while ministering to each other’s happiness2MCP 425.3.

• Simplicity in Ceremony: Marriage ceremonies should be conducted without display, extravagance, or light jests, ensuring everything is solemn, sacred, and elevatingAH 100.5+1.

• The Ultimate Standard: In all things, the Bible is the only standard by which the acts of men are shown to be righteous or wickedARSH August 5, 1852, page 51.20. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Colossians 3:17.

Unless you are a diligent student of God's Word, you may strike hidden rocks that cause a shipwreck of faith and happinessRH January 26, 1886, par. 1. Move forward only if the union helps you heavenward and increases your love for GodFE 104.3. Seek those things which are above, not on things on the earth Colossians 3:1-2.

A woman should prioritize her spiritual preparation and character development while looking to God for guidance, as a successful marriage depends more on the painstaking effort to remain Christlike than on the act of searching itselfDG 190.4+2. While the Bible provides examples of women seeking or following divine direction regarding a husband, the focus should remain on whether the union will preserve her individuality and help her attain Christian perfection18MR 314.2+2.

The Role of Preparation and Character 🌸

Instead of being absorbed in searching for something merely to enjoy, a woman's primary work is to prepare her heart for heaven20MR 151.4+1.

• Seeking Inward Holiness: No woman can attain Christian perfection while neglecting the study of the Word of God, which serves as the "divine Model" to be imitatedCSW 17.1+1.

• Practical Usefulness: God has assigned woman a mission to make a heaven of her home, performing her duties to the best of her abilityWM 158.4+1.

• Moral Stamina: By looking to God for strength and comfort in her daily duties, a woman wins the respect and confidence of those around herDG 195.1+1.

• The Seal of God: Preparation is essential because the seal of God will never be placed upon the forehead of an impure, ambitious, or world-loving womanCCh 334.5+1.

Vital Questions Before Marriage 💍

Before giving her hand in marriage, a woman must inquire deeply into the character and record of a potential husbandAH 47.1. She should consider the following:

• Character Record: Is his life pure, and is his love of a noble, elevated character rather than mere emotional fondnessAH 47.1?

• Preserving Individuality: Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to his control18MR 314.2+1?

• Respect for Women: A young man who considers it beneath him to lighten the labor of women is marked as one who will never make a tender or considerate husband2T 311.2+1.

• Religious Harmony: She must ask if she can continue to honor the Savior's claims as supreme while in the marriage relationAH 47.1.

Following Divine Examples and Guidance 📖

The Scriptures provide instances where women acted upon divine messages or sought their husbands to share spiritual truthPP 560.3+1.

• Manoah's Wife: When the angel of God appeared to Manoah's wife, she immediately sought her husband to repeat the message and pray for further instructionPP 560.3+2.

• The Woman of Samaria: Once she was convinced Jesus was the Messiah, she hastened to tell others, leading many to believe because of her testimony1888 547.5.

• Searching the Word: Every woman should search the Scriptures for herself to understand the truth and the solemnity of the present hour1888 835.1+2.

Ultimately, it is woman's right to seek happiness and improve her mind and manners, but this must be done in the fear of GodWM 158.4+1. If she faithfully performs her mission, she will eventually hear the Master say, "Well done, good and faithful servant"2T 465.2. One should always remember that finite men and women are not faultless, and real life brings perplexities that only practical godliness can help us navigate18MR 314.2. We must pray daily, "Help us to help each other, Lord, each other's woes to bear"18MR 314.2.

A woman may certainly seek a life companion, but this search should be characterized by calm reason, earnest prayer, and a steadfast commitment to God’s high standards for characterFE 103.1+1. While the desire for a partner is natural, the process of finding one must never be led by blind impulse or "lovesick sentimentalism," which can cloud the judgment and lead to lifelong miseryAH 55.3+1.

The Standard for a Worthy Companion 💎

When considering a potential partner, a woman should look beyond a winning exterior and focus on the internal qualities that ensure a happy and holy unionFE 105.2.

• Traits of Character: A young woman should accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, and who is diligent, aspiring, honest, and God-fearing1MCP 307.2+1.

• A Considerate Spirit: She should observe how a man treats the women in his life; if he considers it beneath him to lighten their labor or cares, he is marked as one who will likely be an inconsiderate husband2T 311.2.

• Fidelity to God: It is vital to choose a man who is true to God, for one who is not faithful to his Creator cannot be truly faithful to his wife10MR 191.1.

• Respect for Individuality: She must beware of anyone who would be dictatorial or arbitrary, potentially taking away her independence and her right to follow her own conscience4LtMs, Ms 30, 1885, par. 14.

Moving with Divine Caution 🛡️

The subject of marriage is of such consequence that it should be approached with "make haste slowly" as the guiding principle4LtMs, Lt 3, 1886, par. 19.

• Avoid Secrecy: A courtship carried on in secret or through underhand ways is a dangerous snare that can lead to the shipwreck of faith and happinessRH January 26, 1886, par. 5+1.

• The Importance of Counsel: A young woman should not trust her own immature judgment alone but should take God and her God-fearing parents into her counselFE 62.2+1.

• Maintaining Modesty: In the search for a partner, the rules of modesty and reserve must never be violated, as a disregard for these foundations often leads to a failure to discern God’s high design for marriage18MR 300.1.

• Daily Duties: The focus on finding a partner should not become so all-absorbing that it excludes higher and nobler thoughts or the performance of daily dutiesCH 416.1+1.

The Spiritual Priority 🙏

Before a woman seeks a partner on earth, her first business is to seek the Lord earnestly to ensure her own heart is in a right state3T 53.2+1.

• Personal Conversion: The most important preparation for any relationship is to individually humble the soul before God and obtain a personal knowledge of Jesus ChristST January 26, 1882, Art. A, par. 19+1.

• A Clean Heart: Every woman should pray, "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me" Psalm 51:10.

• Trusting God’s Providence: As we seek the Lord with the whole heart, He promises to make our way plain and guide us into all truthST March 21, 1895, par. 5+1.

• The Ultimate Goal: The primary aim of every Christian woman is to be transformed into the image of Christ, a work that is more important than any earthly connectionPr 78.3+1.

If you seek the Lord with all your heart, you will find Him, and He will grant you the wisdom to make decisions that lead to peace and rest for your soul Matthew 11:292SM 374.3. Seek first the kingdom of God, and He will provide the strength and guidance needed for every aspect of your life9T 106.3+1.

Proverbs 18:22

22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22 teaches that a man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord Proverbs 18:22. This scripture highlights that a prudent wife is a specific gift from the Lord, representing one of the greatest blessings ever given to the human familyCCh 113.2+1.

The Value of a Godly Wife 💎

The heart of a husband can safely trust in a virtuous wife because she will do him good and not evil all the days of her lifeCCh 113.2. She is described as a woman of wisdom and kindness who looks well to the ways of her household and is never idleCCh 113.2.

• A Crown of Rejoicing: A wife who is united with her husband in the great work of God becomes his "crown of rejoicing" and a constant source of comfortDG 265.6+1.

• A Harmonious Helpmeet: In the companionship of a true, unselfish woman, a husband finds peace and happiness, allowing him to forget the cares of the world10MR 72.2.

• Completeness in Union: God’s purpose is fulfilled when a wife seeks to soften and improve her husband’s character, giving it a sense of completeness1MCP 220.6.

Obtaining Favor from the Lord 🙏

Obtaining "favor of the Lord" through marriage is not a matter of chance but the result of following divine principles Proverbs 18:22. True marriage is not a lottery; it is an institution established in Eden and sanctioned by Christ10MR 184.1+1.

• The Marriage Institution: Marriage was designed by Heaven to be a blessing, provided it is entered into with a holy purpose and the fear of GodHHTL 90.1+1.

• Divine Sanction: By his presence at the wedding in Cana, Jesus showed his desire to hallow human relations and minister to human happinessPaM 201.3.

• Heavenly Symbols: When a man and woman are united in holy wedlock to raise a family crowned with honor, they become symbols of the family in heaven14LtMs, Ms 16, 1899, par. 6+1.

Prudence in Selection 🧐

While finding a wife is a "good thing," the Bible warns that this favor depends on whether the union is formed according to God's willCCh 113.2+1. Many marriages fail to result in happiness because they are contracted from impulse rather than sober reflection3SG 120.1+1.

• A Wise Choice: The choice of a companion should secure the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of the parents and the childrenLYL 14.1.

• Spiritual Unity: A believer should only connect with one who also fears God, for there can be no concord between those serving two different mastersCCh 121.1+1.

• Parental Counsel: Like Isaac, who submitted to experienced judgment in choosing a wife, youth should seek the counsel of God and their parents before taking a step that binds them for lifeMYP 464.1+1.

The Work of a Lifetime ✨

The "good thing" found at the marriage altar is only the beginning; the real union of two souls is a work of the years to follow10MR 184.1+1.

• Continuous Culture: True love is a plant that needs constant culture and the manifestation of tender, cheerful, and encouraging wordsCCh 126.5+1.

• The Role of Christ: To keep love warm, Christ must be made first, last, and best in everythingCCh 126.5+1.

• Mutual Forbearance: Happiness is maintained when both parties walk in love, practicing kindness, humbleness of mind, and long-suffering toward one another Colossians 3:12CCh 126.5.

Ultimately, marriage is a sacred ordinance guarded by God's holy precept and should be controlled by the dictates of reason rather than blind passion1MCP 219.3+1. Those who seek God's guidance will find that a virtuous wife is indeed a treasure that excels all othersCCh 113.2.

1 Timothy 4:1-5

1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;

2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

4 For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:

5 For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

In 1 Timothy 4:1-5 the Apostle Paul provides a solemn warning regarding a widespread departure from the pure faith in the latter times, characterized by a transition into deceptive doctrines and legalistic prohibitions 1 Timothy 4:1MWV2 292.3. This prophecy describes a power that would eventually seek to change God's laws and dominate the consciences of men for a period of 1260 years Daniel 7:25SDP 97.1+1.

The Departure from the Faith ⚠️

The Spirit speaks expressly that some shall depart from the faith by giving heed to "seducing spirits" and "doctrines of devils"MWV2 292.3+1. This mystery of iniquity was already beginning to work in the days of the apostles and was manifested through the rise of many antichrists 2 Thessalonians 2:7+1SITI June 22, 1888, page 375.4.

• Hypocrisy and Seared Consciences: Those leading this departure speak lies in hypocrisy, having their own consciences seared as with a hot ironMWV2 292.3+1.

• Forbidding to Marry: One of the primary marks of this apostate power is the enforcement of ecclesiastical celibacy and the prohibition of marriageMWV2 292.3+1. This is identified as an "audacious heresy" that contradicts the divine institution of marriageHST July 10, 1844, page 177.20+1.

• Commanding to Abstain from Meats: The prophecy also highlights a command to abstain from certain foods—meats which God created to be received with thanksgivingMWV2 292.3+1. This restriction is often taught by those who have departed from the truth of the Word 1 Timothy 4:3MWV2 292.3.

The Prophetic Timeline: 1260 Years ⏳

The power described by Paul is identical to the "little horn" of Daniel 7 and the "beast" of Revelation 13+2. This power was prophesied to hold political supremacy and wear out the saints for a specific durationEVRR344+1.

• The Period Identified: This duration is variously described as "a time and times and the dividing of time," "forty-two months," or "1260 days"EVRR344+2.

• Year-Day Principle: In symbolic Bible prophecy, a day represents a year Ezekiel 4:6+1EVRR344+1. Therefore, this period represents 1260 literal yearsFEE 126.2+1.

• Historical Fulfillment: This supremacy commenced in AD 538, when the papacy was established in political power, and concluded in 1798, when the French army took the Pope into captivity, inflicting a "deadly wound"EVRR344+3.

Suppression of the Truth 📖

During these 1260 years, the Scriptures were largely kept in obscurity and "clothed in sackcloth"EVRR344+1.

• Forbidden Reading: For centuries, the reading of the Holy Books in the common language of the people was expressly forbidden by church and civil lawEVRR344+1.

• Tradition Above Scripture: This power dared to put its own decrees and traditions on a level with, or even above, the authority of the BibleHST July 10, 1844, page 177.20.

• Changing Times and Laws: The prophecy specifically notes that this power would "think to change times and laws," which was fulfilled by the attempt to alter the Decalogue and the sanctity of the Sabbath Daniel 7:25HST July 10, 1844, page 177.20+1.

Everything Sanctified by the Word and Prayer 🙏

In contrast to these man-made prohibitions, Paul reminds believers that every creature of God is good and nothing is to be refused if received with thanksgiving 1 Timothy 4:4MWV2 292.3.

• The Role of the Word: These things are "sanctified by the word of God and prayer" 1 Timothy 4:5HST July 10, 1844, page 177.20.

• True Thanksgiving: Those who believe and know the truth recognize that God’s gifts are to be enjoyed according to His creative purpose and Word 1 Timothy 4:3MWV2 292.3.

• A Call to Discernment: We are warned to learn not the way of the heathen nor be snared by traditions that lack a "Thus saith the Lord" Jeremiah 10:2+1SSP 293.1.

The ultimate end of this system of error is its destruction by the brightness of Christ's coming, after which the kingdom shall be given to the saints of the Most High Daniel 7:27+1SITI December 10, 1885, page 742.32.