Shared conversation
Navigating Church Fellowship and Mentorship Dilemmas
Should you join a struggling church just to mentor a friend in need?
can you assist with a dilemma?
AdventAI
Hello! I am AdventAI, your friendly and helpful assistant 🌟. I would be more than happy to help you with your dilemma by exploring the wisdom found in the Bible and the writings of Ellen G. White.
Scripture teaches us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask of God, who gives to everyone generously James 1:5. We are also reminded that in the multitude of counselors there is safety, which can help provide clarity for your situation Proverbs 11:14.
To help you find the guidance you are looking for, here are some examples of what I can do:
For finding quotes you can ask questions like:
- Where is the EGW quote that says [x, y, z]
- Give me EGW quotes on [x]
For general theological research you can ask topical questions like:
- Explain the seven trumpets in Revelation
- What is sanctification?
- Explain the 2300-day prophecy.
Or questions about specific Bible verses like:
- Explain 1 Peter 3:19 regarding spirits in prison.
- Explain Revelation 13
- Explain the little horn of Daniel 7.
How can I best support you today 🙏?
there’s a platonic friend that joined church two years ago. i’ve been in church all my life. whenever this friend and i spend time together, i sm the iniator. the friend isnt yet well versed in adventism, which takes time. there’s an upcoming choir concert and vespers at another sda church that i’d like to extend an invitation. i know the person loves choir and godly music. the person has never attended another sda church in out city. my dilemma is i get tired of bring the only one to fo the inviting.
AdventAI
It is a beautiful and noble thing to seek the spiritual growth of your friend by inviting them into deeper Christian fellowship. While the effort of being the constant initiator can be wearying, your influence as a long-standing member of the church is a vital channel for their spiritual education and enlightenment.
The Value of Your Influence
Your persistent invitations are more than just social gestures; they are a means of helping your friend obtain an experience that prepares them for eternal life. By acting as a guide, you are fulfilling the call to be the light of the world and to show the way to those who are still learning Matthew 5:15. This kind of personal effort and acquaintance is often how the most significant impressions are made upon the heart.
A Sacred Responsibility: As one who has been in the church your whole life, you possess a clearer perception of spiritual character and the value of these gatherings than your friend currently has.
Building a Foundation: Your friend is still "a babe in knowledge," and your mentorship helps them move toward becoming a "full-grown" Christian.
A Shield Against the World: Consistent association with godly influences and music serves as a safeguard, drawing your friend away from the seducing pleasures and corrupting influences of the world.
Navigating Your Dilemma
It is natural to desire a reciprocal friendship where both parties seek each other out, yet true Christian charity is not based on what we receive in return. Christ Himself is our pattern; He manifested self-denial and infinite patience to win us, and we are encouraged to imitate His tireless energy in seeking the benefit of others.
Patience in Growth: Just as a dry sapling takes time to become knit with the Vine, your friend’s initiative will grow as they become more transformed by the Spirit.
Focus on the Goal: The ultimate aim is the restoration of the image of God in your friend, a work that requires diligent and persevering effort.
Finding Strength in God: When you feel discouraged, remember that your power is in God and that He notices every humble effort to bless another soul.
Encouragement for the Concert
I encourage you to extend that invitation to the choir concert and vespers, as music and the teaching of Christ’s love can soften the soil of the heart for further truth. God has promised that when we humbly do our work with fidelity, He will take care of the results. By continuing to walk as Christ walked—talking as He talked and working as He worked—you are building a character for eternity while helping your friend do the same.
Let us follow the counsel to "love one another, as I have loved you" John 15:12. This unselfish love is the very essence of our religion and the fruit of genuine sanctification. May you find joy in knowing that your hospitality may be the very thing that helps your friend make their calling and election sure 2 Peter 1:10.
Sources · 22
- PC 96.1The Paulson Collection of Ellen G. White Letters
- ST April 13, 1891, par. 2The Signs of the Times
- CCh 72.4Counsels for the Church
- KC 7.4The Kress Collection
- CE 187.2Christian Education
- T33 96.2Testimony for the Church — No. 33
- 2SAT 39.4Sermons and Talks, vol. 2
- AH 469.1The Adventist Home
- MND 77.3Man’s Nature and Destiny
- AH 504.4The Adventist Home
- ST June 29, 1882, par. 7The Signs of the Times
- 1MR 216.2Manuscript Releases, vol. 1 [Nos. 19-96]
- 16MR 342.2Manuscript Releases, vol. 16 [Nos. 1186-1235]
- CT 97.1Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students
- GW92 139.1Gospel Workers (1892/1893 ed.)
- 5BC 1138.4EGW SDA Bible Commentary, vol. 5
- PUR July 7, 1904, par. 3Pacific Union Recorder
- RH September 13, 1881, par. 5The Review and Herald
- 1888 71.4The Ellen G. White 1888 Materials
- TSA 12.3Testimonies to Southern Africa
- RH January 2, 1913, par. 4The Review and Herald
- ST January 2, 1907, par. 4The Signs of the Times
another dilemma. the sda church my friend is a member of does not do any teaching to help my friend to become grounded in the truth. no present truth comes from the pulpit. friend did the amazing facts Bible study series before joining the church via profession of faith. no new member studies whatsoever. my membership is at another sda church in another city. i have thought about joining her sda church to be a role model/mentor to the friend even though i am 10 years younger. then i changed my mind because i am really not particular about the church friend attends. it matters where you go to church. all the churches in our area are the same. i understand there is no perfect church, the church is militant and the wheat and tares must grow together. its really hard to attend church there. friend loves her church because she has not been taught any better. now she’s been elected as the church treasurer. friend and i were prayer partners earlier this year for 40 days, which we both enjoyed and grew a connection.
AdventAI
It is deeply commendable that you recognize the sacred responsibility of being a character builder for those around you. While it is true that you may picture an ideal church where perfection exists, such a place only exists in the imagination, as the church on earth is currently a place where tares and wheat must grow together until the harvest Matthew 13:30.
Understanding the Church Militant
The church in its present state is the church militant, not yet the church triumphant. It is often enfeebled and defective, needing to be reproved and counseled, yet it remains the object on earth upon which Christ bestows His supreme regard.
The Coexistence of Two Classes: Within the church, two parties are developed, and the righteous will, to the last, be brought into contact with the ungodly.
A Place for Growth: The church is represented by a field where both the good and the bad are drawn into the gospel net.
The Goal of Separation: We are not to uproot those we suppose to be spurious Christians, for man judges from appearance but God judges the heart.
Your Role as a Mentor and Light
Even if the pulpit lacks the presentation of present truth, you can be a guide and an example in faithfulness and unswerving fidelity to the cause of God. Your life and character should be in harmony with the advanced truth we profess, serving as a contrast to the darkness around you.
Example Over Preaching: Christ is our model character who conformed Himself to all requirements to be a guide in every circumstance. You can represent the power and grace of Christ to your friend through a consistent, godly example.
Personal Ministry: Christians are to be light-bearers, showing the superiority of Heaven's principles through their spirit and actions.
Spiritual Nurture: The communion of saints on earth is one of the richest sources of comfort and a means of spiritual nurture. By continuing to associate with your friend, you help her contemplate eternal realities.
Navigating the Local Church Environment
While you may find it difficult to attend a church where you feel the truth is not being fully taught, remember that God has a church, even if it has defective members and tares amid the wheat.
The Influence of One: One sincere Christian who is a teacher of the word can become a mighty river of influence to bless all who connect with them.
Steadfastness in Trial: Faith in the atonement of Christ will keep you steadfast and immovable amid the temptations that press upon the church militant.
A Call to Patience: We must cultivate a spirit of kindness and true heavenly courtesy toward those who are long in learning the lessons God would teach them.
Encouragement for Your Friendship
The connection you grew during your 40 days of prayer is a precious talent that can be used to strengthen God's cause. Continue to help your friend by practically setting forth a Christian example, being blameless and harmless in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation Philippians 2:14-15. Your role as a mentor is not limited by age or location, but by your willingness to reflect the characteristics of the Christian gentleman or lady in all associations. Do not be discouraged by the current state of the church, but labor as Christ labored, putting your whole soul into the work of helping another soul reach the heavenly garner.
Sources · 25
- CG 558.3Child Guidance
- CT 131.3Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students
- 2MCP 636.1Mind, Character, and Personality, vol. 2
- RH August 8, 1893, par. 5The Review and Herald
- LDE 52.2Last Day Events
- 20MR 221.1Manuscript Releases, vol. 20 [Nos. 1420-1500]
- LDE 172.3Last Day Events
- LDE 231.3Last Day Events
- 8T 72.2Testimonies for the Church, vol. 8
- PH156 5.1Special Testimony to the Brethren in Battle Creek
- COL 71.3Christ’s Object Lessons
- 20MR 26.2Manuscript Releases, vol. 20 [Nos. 1420-1500]
- ChS 12.5Christian Service
- CCh 343.1Counsels for the Church
- ARSH April 21, 1859, page 170.23Advent Review, and Sabbath Herald, vol. 13
- MM 199.1Medical Ministry
- ARSH November 28, 1865, page 201.19Advent Review, and Sabbath Herald, vol. 26
- GW 417.3Gospel Workers (1915 ed.)
- COL 132.1Christ’s Object Lessons
- 7ABC 484.5EGW SDA Bible Commentary, vol. 7A
- RH September 5, 1893, par. 1The Review and Herald
- 19MR 203.4Manuscript Releases, vol. 19 [Nos. 1360-1419]
- 19MR 173.3Manuscript Releases, vol. 19 [Nos. 1360-1419]
- 20MR 186.3Manuscript Releases, vol. 20 [Nos. 1420-1500]
- 17MR 305.2Manuscript Releases, vol. 17 [Nos. 1236-1300]
are you recommending i join her church? or just attend regularly without membership?
AdventAI
Deciding whether to transfer your membership or simply attend as a visitor is a matter that requires much prayer and seeking the wisdom that comes from God alone James 1:5. The Lord calls upon all who profess to believe in Him to use every opportunity and privilege to lead souls within their sphere of influence to Jesus Christ. If you feel a strong impression to be a mentor to your friend, your consistent presence in that church could be a way to reflect light to those who have not yet been taught the deeper principles of truth.
However, you must also carefully consider your own spiritual health and whether your soul is being nourished by "living truths" that keep your connection with God strong. Our life and character should be in harmony with the advanced truth we profess, and this requires a steady supply of spiritual food. Whether you choose formal membership or choose to labor as a regular visitor, the most important thing is that you represent the Great Pattern in your words, spirit, and actions.
Here are some points to consider as you pray about this decision:
- The Power of Personal Effort: Personal effort and acquaintance are often the most effective ways to reach a heart, and this can be done whether or not your name is on the local church record.
- Building Up vs. Criticizing: Since the church militant will always be imperfect, your mission should be to build up the people of God rather than focusing only on the deficiencies of the pulpit.
- A Call to Integrated Witness: You might consider if you can more effectively "unfurl the banner" of truth and represent the commandments of God by being a fully committed member of that community.
- Charity as the Guide: Genuine charity loves the soul and will lead you to warn and help your neighbor out of a sincere desire for their salvation.
Ultimately, you are called to be a co-worker with Christ in whatever capacity you serve. Remember that in the multitude of counselors there is safety, so you may wish to discuss this with a trusted spiritual mentor in your current church Proverbs 11:14. May the Holy Spirit work in you to reveal a straightforward course of service that God will approve and that will be a blessing to your friend 🌟.
Sources · 11
- 19MR 173.3Manuscript Releases, vol. 19 [Nos. 1360-1419]
- PC 96.1The Paulson Collection of Ellen G. White Letters
- ST January 2, 1907, par. 4The Signs of the Times
- GW92 139.1Gospel Workers (1892/1893 ed.)
- CCh 343.1Counsels for the Church
- MM 199.1Medical Ministry
- 2SAT 39.4Sermons and Talks, vol. 2
- RH August 8, 1893, par. 5The Review and Herald
- RH September 5, 1893, par. 1The Review and Herald
- 20MR 221.1Manuscript Releases, vol. 20 [Nos. 1420-1500]
- 1MR 216.2Manuscript Releases, vol. 1 [Nos. 19-96]
it seems like being an actual member will be better because it shows commitment versus just a regular visitor?
AdventAI
Joining as a member can indeed be a powerful testimony of your commitment to the cause of God and your desire to be a blessing to that specific community. While you have noted that the church has its defects, the "gospel net" is designed to draw both good and bad, and we are cautioned not to stand afar off and criticize those within it. By formally uniting with your friend's church, you move from being an observer to a "co-worker with Christ," using your influence to lead souls within your sphere to the truth. 🌟
This commitment may give you a more effective voice to "give character to the influence of the truth" that you feel is currently missing from the pulpit. As an official member, you can more easily act as a "guide and an example" to others, including your friend, in faithfulness and sacrifice. Since your friend has been elected treasurer, your membership would allow you to support her and show "the superiority of Heaven’s principles" in all business dealings and church interactions. ✨
Furthermore, being a member allows you to fulfill the role of a "full-grown" Christian who can nurture "babes in knowledge" through spiritual union and fellowship, regardless of the fact that you are younger in years. Your consistent example as a member would be like a light set on a candlestick, giving light to all who are in the house Matthew 5:15. It is through such "personal effort" and acquaintance that you can best represent the power and grace of Christ to those who have not yet been taught more advanced light.
Ultimately, while the church militant is imperfect, God does not destroy it, and He calls for workers who will "build up the people of God" from within rather than uprooting what they think are tares. If you humbly do your work with fidelity as a committed member, you can trust that the Lord will take care of the results. By choosing to serve where you are needed, you exemplify the "patient continuance in well doing" that characterizes those who are abiding in the living Vine. 🍇
May you continue to seek wisdom through prayer, knowing that in the multitude of counselors there is safety Proverbs 11:14James 1:5. 🙏
Sources · 14
- T33 96.2Testimony for the Church — No. 33
- 8T 72.2Testimonies for the Church, vol. 8
- PH156 5.1Special Testimony to the Brethren in Battle Creek
- PC 96.1The Paulson Collection of Ellen G. White Letters
- TSA 12.3Testimonies to Southern Africa
- ChS 12.5Christian Service
- MM 199.1Medical Ministry
- MND 77.3Man’s Nature and Destiny
- CG 558.3Child Guidance
- 2SAT 39.4Sermons and Talks, vol. 2
- LDE 52.2Last Day Events
- 2MCP 636.1Mind, Character, and Personality, vol. 2
- 1888 71.4The Ellen G. White 1888 Materials
- ST April 13, 1891, par. 2The Signs of the Times