1 Timothy 5:4, commentary and pictures

Children and other close relatives must first learn true godliness at home by caring for their widowed parents and kin and repaying the care they themselves received, for this is good and acceptable before God. That care means providing aged and feeble family members and widowed mothers with suitable homes, support and practical help with special respect and tenderness, visiting them, giving small gifts and praying with them as a privilege as well as a duty. The obligation rests first on the family rather than on institutions or on keeping the aged together in a company, and only when family care is not possible does it become the solemn duty and privilege of the church to care for destitute widows, orphans and invalids so they are not left unhappy and destitute. This home duty comes before other claims on time and money, so earnings, service and personal plans and pleasure must honor God at home first, and a son or daughter should not leave needy parents to hardship to pursue nursing education or another course while their ministry is needed at home. Children are to learn this from childhood as parents train them to share family burdens instead of making them dependent, and faithfully supporting a widowed mother and aged grandparents remains a proper family duty that does not violate the marriage relation.

Piety at Home Explained

To learn piety at home first means that children and other close family members are to show godliness and devotion to God at home by caring for their widowed parents and relatives. That care is a repaying of parents for the care received from them, and it is good and acceptable before God. It is practiced through practical help in the household and the family, beginning at home before earnings are given elsewhere. Supporting a widowed mother in this way is a proper family duty that does not violate the marriage relationship, as when a wife cares for her mother and helps care for her aged grandfather, and a strong, able son is not to leave his family to bear hardship while he pursues his own course, while money nurses can spare may be needed by their parents.

That home duty embraces aged and feeble relatives who have no homes, and especially widowed mothers, by providing suitable homes, support, and practical help. The aged are not to be sent away from home to receive care, and all who have Christ's spirit regard the feeble and aged with special respect and tenderness. Caring for elderly and feeble family members in this way is both a duty and a privilege, to be taken up by the church only when relatives cannot provide it, so that none are left unhappy and destitute. The privilege is carried out by visiting aged or afflicted parents, offering practical help and small gifts, praying with them, and doing what one can for them. Faithfulness in it leaves behind the good memory of having acted faithfully.

Children are to learn this duty of caring for parents and repaying their care from childhood. Parents are to train them to share family responsibilities rather than making them dependent by doing everything for them.

Family First, Then Church

The duty belongs first to the family, for members of every household are to show godliness at home by ministering to their own relatives who have no homes. Relatives are to care for their own poor kindred, including aged family members and orphaned children, and to provide suitable homes and support for the aged, rather than leaving that care solely to institutions. The aged are not to be sent away from home to receive care, and it is not best to establish institutions to keep them together in a company. All who have the spirit of Christ will regard the feeble and aged with special respect and tenderness.

When family care is not possible, caring for them becomes the duty and privilege of the church, so that they are not left unhappy and destitute. The church is also to care for its needy members, and a most solemn duty rests upon it to have especial care for destitute widows, orphans, and invalids. Caring for elderly and feeble members when relatives cannot provide that care is the church's own burden to take up.

This care includes special attention to widows whose husbands gave their strength to God's work and died while serving in it, and who have children left in needy circumstances. The church and each person share responsibility to help strengthen and comfort them in their affliction. Widows and other afflicted people in the church test believers and help develop Christlike compassion.

Faithfulness in Daily Life

The duty to show devotion at home by caring for parents comes before other claims on time and money. It begins at home before giving earnings elsewhere, for money that nurses can spare may be needed by their parents, and such support is good and acceptable before God. Honoring God includes serving family members at home, and this takes priority over personal plans and pleasure.

A daughter should not put her own plans and pleasure first or leave parents who would feel her loss deeply. She should consider their needs and remain with them until they agree it is best for her to go. She should not leave home for years of nursing education when her ministry is needed there because a mother or father needs a child's care. A strong, able son should not leave his family to bear hardship while he pursues his own course, but should provide practical help for his widowed mother as a duty of gratitude and godliness. Caring for one's family and helping the household is itself an important education in service and is good and acceptable before God.

Supporting a widowed mother is a proper family duty that repays the care received and does not violate the marriage relationship. A wife's care for her mother and help in caring for her aged grandfather are in keeping with this truth that children and other family members should care for their widowed relatives at home through practical help.